FEEDING THE FIVE THOUSAND
Today we have one of the best known stories from the Gospels to think about: the Feeding of the Five Thousand. It is a wonderful story and I am sure it is a historical story. It really happened. But it is one of those stories that can also be read as a parable, a parable that makes us think of our own lives and see how Christ is at work in them.
Jesus hears of the death of his cousin John, in squalid circumstances. Jesus is human and is upset. John’s death makes him realise that he too will probably meet a similar fate, killed by the rulers of his country. So he takes his disciples to some lonely place by the lakeside where they can be together and talk and pray about this new situation. That is a very common human reaction but it says something more for us who live this monastic life. Monastic life is a lonely place. Jesus calls each one of us to come apart from other people and be with him somewhere else. Why he does this we do not know. Why does he ask us? We don’t know. But we find we want it. We want to be in this lonely place where we can be with Christ. It may be literally a lonely place, like the desert where St Antony lived, or the hill top of Monte Cassino where Benedict made his life. Or it may be a place like Mirfield, surrounded by buildings, yet foreign and very different to the places most of us grew up in. Why come to Mirfield? Because God called us here, to be with him in a place of quiet and isolation. That is the only reason that counts.
What do we do in this lonely place? We can make a list: 4 offices a day, mass each day, lots of reading, lots of writing emails, some washing up, cleaning, doing things in the garden. Life in this lonely place is hardly ever sitting around looking at the beautiful countryside! But it is life with Jesus. We need to keep remembering that. It is easy to forget that just as those 12 disciples had Jesus with them when they went to the Lake of Galilee, we also have Jesus with us all the time. If we attend to that we will usually find him. I think we all know that the way to find Jesus is not through some kind of spiritual rocket science. It’s not very complicated; we just have to do it. We are constantly tempted not to do it. We do the minimum instead of wanting to do more. The more we do, the more we shall find Jesus.
When we read the Gospel for the day as part of our meditation we need to look consciously for Jesus and we shall find him. When we have Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament in retreat I am always tempted not to go because I am tired; but if I go I am always glad because I find I have met Jesus. The message of today’s gospel is that we should not to expect finding Jesus to be difficult, or complicated or only for the very best. Jesus is here and we just need to look a bit harder, and want him.
The trouble with lonely places is that when monks go and settle in them they quite soon stop being lonely. St Antony went to the Egyptian desert but hundreds of monks followed him and settled round him, forcing him to go further and further into the desert. St Benedict went to the lonely Monte Cassino and now the mountain is covered by buildings, shops, houses and a great church so the monks have to hide away. St Robert of Molesme took his first monks to a lonely, marshy place in the forests. The St Bernard turned up with 22 friends and relations and shattered the peace turning the Cistercians into a mighty order. And even Mirfield, this small milling town in the West Riding of Yorkshire has become famous in certain quarters all over the world. I remember someone in South Africa who knew CR in its days of glory thought the streets of Mirfield must be paved with gold!
And so it was with the disciples. They had hardly reached their place of quiet when thousands of people turned up wanting Jesus. “And Jesus had compassion on them and healed their sick”. We may not get thousands of people coming here but we know what it is like to have streams and streams of guests. St Benedict tells us guests are part of the life and we must treat each one as if they were Christ so we try. But Jesus went further. He fed them as much as they could eat out of a few fish and some barley loaves. Can we do that? Probably not. Not physically at least, but perhaps we do it in spite of ourselves, or Jesus does it through us.
When the disciples gave out food to the 5,000, did the people thank them? Did they say “Wow, thanks. That’s marvellous. Where did you get it from?” Did the disciples feel pleased with themselves for doing this? Well, I’m sure they were glad to be able to feed the people but they knew it was no credit to them. It was all because of Jesus. So, when our guests tell us how much they love coming here we are surprised. When the say that a few days here transforms their lives we think they must be exaggerating. We’re not wonderful people. Our singing isn’t great. Our preaching is not the stuff of which orators are made. The scenery round here is nothing like the Yorkshire moors or the Highlands of Scotland, yet people absolutely love it. Is that not God at work? People find God as they wander round our cricket field or sit in the Calvary Garden. People look at our fish and feel the presence of Jesus who spent part of his life with fishermen. People seem to find our company inspiring. People find our singing of the offices glorious. Our episcopal visitation team described our worship as a ‘foretaste of heaven’ when there are only three of us who can really sing! Something odd is going on. People are not just flattering us, or being kind to us. This has to be our version of the loaves and fishes. Somehow our poor offering gets changed into something else. And just as the disciples distributing that bread and fish to 5,000 people knew they could take no credit for it, nor do we. The disciples didn’t think “Wow, look at this great miracle we are doing.” They were just stunned that Jesus could do this with the few fish and loaves they had offered. And we, too, can never feel proud, or specially holy for what happens around us. We can only give thanks to God. Yes, we give thanks to God. That is really important. That shows we know it is not us who do the great things. It shows real gratitude to the God who loves us. God is wonderful and the more we look around us the more we see that is true.